Important Winter Terms

Since winter is upon us, I feel it necessary to inform people of some terms I will be using for the next few months. Just to alleviate any confusing that may fall upon you, should I use them in your presence.

1. Smotrix-These are the clumps of snow and ice that accumulate behind the tires on your car.

2. Land Mine-No, these aren't real land mines. This is when someone walks around the house with snowy shoes, and then you walk around in your socks and accidentally step in one of the melted snow deposits.

3. Instant Anger Cold (IAC)-When it's so cold outside that your face actually cringes when it hits you right outside the door. You know it's bad if I say it's Instant Anger Cold outside.

4. Crunge-The salty, gravely, snowy mixture that makes you car look like a mess. This is a mixture of crap and grunge.

5. Trail of Tears-When you're trying to walk somewhere in the snow in the footprints of somebody else.

Now you know