Clerks

Somone who will remain nameless told me to watch "Clerks" so that I would be prepared to see "Clerks II" soon. I was excited to watch this movie because I heard good things from people that I TRUSTED. Well never again. Let me tell you why this movie was the worst thing since styrofoam bombshelters.

1. Silent Bob isn't silent
2. It looks like my grandpa filmed it
3. It's in black and white. Apparently the myth that a black and white film made after panavision is 'artistic' is false.
4. At no point in my life was I ever a pot head, coke fiend, porn addict, or neurotic so all of the humor was not on my level.
5. It has no plot. No hook, no rising action, no climax, no resolution, it's just a day. That's not cool, that's a wasted two hours of my life waiting for nothing.
6. The characters are essentially this. Two people with absolutly no direction in life. One is ok with it and chooses to rationalize everything in a way that makes him sound right (and he also uses words that are obvioiusly beyond the intelligence level of anyone who would ever work at a video store anyway). The other is very un-easy about it, and basically decides to complain about it all day long. If I wanted to sit around and listen to people whine about their lack of a life, romantic options, good job, and basic life goals, I could eve's drop in starbucks, watch an episode of friends, or go hang out with 90% of the people I went to college with. At least those would be in color. Boo